Any little girl who grew up reading fairy tales is already forced into a world where perfection appears effortlessly achievable. Snow White, for instance, is so beautiful that her step-mother, the Queen, can’t stand her comparison. The very reason why Snow White’s life is threatened is that she, ultimately, is too perfect. However, as a young girl reading through the book or watching your favorite Disney’s rendition, your first reaction is to be scared on behalf of Snow White and to want her to win in the end. As an adult, however, you might find growing in yourself a sense of understanding for the Evil Queen who cannot, despite her best efforts and all her magical skills, achieve perfection. Perfection is, as far as we know, not of this world. However, we still crave for it, unable to accept and cherish our imperfection. It’s time to silence the Evil Queen in each of us. 

Stop worrying about what others think of you

The very first thing you need to do to fight off your Evil Queen is to focus on yourself without stopping to consider what others think or do. Indeed, the source of pain for the Evil Queen is to compare herself against others, as she asks her magical mirror who is the most beautiful women in the kingdom. Don’t follow her footsteps. Comparing yourself to others is no real measurement of your uniqueness and worth. We are naturally biased to find the grass greener on the other side, but it’s not always an accurate feeling. Following your path creates a unique route that is beyond comparison. It’s all about you, and if you wish to compare, you should compare to your past self. 

What if this is causing internal turmoil?

Unfortunately, in your quest to perfection, pain can come from a variety of places. For the Evil Queen, ignoring comparison wouldn’t have been sufficient to maintain her happiness. Indeed, the Queen is all of us when she actively seeks reassurance from her mirror. Am I truly the most beautiful beyond comparison? It’s the question she would ask today. Bluesky Psychology experts fear that the Queen’s excessive need for comparison reveals a tragic lack of self-worth. Indeed, if you have no sense of how well you’re doing until you can compare yourself to others, working with a therapist could help you to break free and work with you if you are dealing with these types of things.

Therapy does not work for everyone so if you are dealing with lack of self worth or more such as anxiety, depression or something else of the sort please seek out medical help you are not alone.

Understanding the difference between not good enough and self-improvement

Wanting to get better is healthier than attempting to eliminate all competition like the Evil Queen does. However, while the path to self-improvement is about acquiring new skills with the help of a mentor or a partner who makes you accountable, it’s also a path to achieve a goal. Whether you want to fit in your bridal gown or become a better manager, defining success begins with your objective. Self-improvement is not a path toward self-acceptance. If you don’t love yourself at the beginning of the journey, you’re likely to find flaws at the end. 

The Evil Queen lives in each of us. She compares herself constantly to others. She is obsessed about it and finds no way out but destruction to achieve her goals. While nobody goes to such extents, there’s no denying that the quest for perfection leaves us just as damaged and vulnerable. It’s time to make peace with our imperfect self. The Queen can finally relax in the knowledge that Snow White is too perfect to be real. 

And we all are imperfect happily after.

Love who you are and water your own grass!