10 Simple Steps to Develop Self-Love

We spend so much time working on our relationships, body, career, social life, and other priorities. Caught up in the act of juggling all this, we overlook the importance of doing work on the inside.  Well, you are nothing short of a one-of-a-kind unprecedented individual. So, you might as well reignite the inner love for yourself and cherish what makes you unique. If you cannot come to love yourself, you will not be able to project the warmth of love onto the world and soak it back in when others send it your way.

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Forge a mindset

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It all starts with the shift in a mindset and your self-perception. These two aspects have a lot to do with how others define us through titles, roles, labels, relationship statuses, net worth, achievements, etc. Alas, even when combined, they are utterly inaccurate and incomplete accounts of who you are. Your true identity stems from something deeper and more eternal than the changing life circumstances.

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Embrace your quirks and things that make you unique. Society is an extremely poor judge of individual qualities and character, as it tries to standardize and generalize. Therefore, instead of trying so hard to meet other people’s expectations, uncover your true nature and do not be afraid to be authentic. Let your freak flag fly— it is one of the most empowering and liberating things you can do.

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Practice self-care

Furthermore, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep whenever possible to revitalize your mind and body. Engage in regular physical activity, be it a yoga class, cycling to work, gym or running sessions. Start eating healthier— put together a nutrient-packed, balanced diet and stay hydrated. Leave some time in the schedule for pure pastime relaxation.

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Do what you love

Speaking of which, you need to start doing what you love in order to reestablish inner calm and peace.  Take a break and reconnect with your innate drives and passions. Find time for the hobby you have been putting away for a long time. You will be able to melt away the stress and then tackle various life challenges with new winds in your sails.

Write it down

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Many people have discovered the therapeutic and other benefits of putting the thought into writing. Did you also know that writing every day is associated with success in life? You might think that social media statuses already fit the bill, but why not write without thinking about how others will react to it. In other words, you might want to start keeping a personal diary.  Pour your soul onto its pages.

Listen to yourself

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Learn to carefully listen to your inner voice. Nobody is more qualified to decide what is good for you in terms of long-term happiness and fulfillment. If that voice is full of resentment, anxiety, fear, and other negative emotions, you need to stop being so harsh on yourself. We are all vulnerable and insecure, but think about your qualities and celebrate the best moments life has in store.

Manage emotions better

Emotional stability is a fickle thing. Sooner or later, we are thrown off balance wrestling with anger and pain. You should never beat yourself up for it. Trying to suffocate your feelings never really works and brings only temporary relief in the best case scenario. Often, it is better to hoist a white flag and cling to it. Examine where do you feel the pain in your body— it can be a really telling sign.

Take care of your looks

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Although appearances do not make a human, they can certainly help one increase self-worth and satisfaction. Feel free to buy new clothes, self-care products, and look at yourself in the mirror. Rest assured that there is no such thing as being perfect and we should abandon that futile pursuit. Accept your flaws as an integral part of who you are and boost your self-confidence.

Treat yourself

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Material things cannot buy happiness and love, but they are stepping stones to it. Namely, it is perfectly fine to pamper yourself a bit. Treat yourself to a delicious meal or take a weekend off. You also do not have to wait for others to buy you something nice. Shop around for adorable and unique gifts, trigger feel-good hormones in the brain, and put a smile back on your face.

Set boundaries

Saying that simple word “no” often comes hard for people, yet is crucial for cultivating self-love. Draw some lines between what you love and enjoy and things that only deplete your energy and willpower. It can be anything from extra work obligations to activities that strain you mentally, etc. Take the pressure off yourself and pivot to things that fill you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Fostering a positive change

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Self-love is not a state of feeling good that comes and goes. It must be actively nurtured and built. So, mute the noise of the outside world and change the negative mental tape. Enrich your relationship with yourself and build healthy everyday habits. Shift your focus to positive attributes and look at the bright side of life. All the small changes add up and spill over from one area of your life to another. It is time to make yourself feel whole and worthy again.

- Gust post by Stella Van Lan -

Stella van Lane is a passionate writer in love with coffee, chocolate, music, books, and good vibes. Her top interests are health, yoga, meditation, and interior design.

Leave a comment below telling us at least one step you can take to further develop self-love!

Five Ways To Stop Judging Yourself + FREE Journaling Prompts

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” - Brené Brown

1. Be kinder to yourself instead of beating yourself up

From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, how many times do you speak badly to yourself? You may not realize how much you speak down to yourself subconsciously (i.e. I’m so ugly, I look so fat, I’m so stupid, I’m such an idiot, etc.). We are constantly being our own worst enemy and we need to start switching our mindset around to being our own best friend because we all deserve that. Keep track of how often you are saying these self-defeating thoughts and replace them with kinder affirmations you can tell yourself to not only stop judging yourself but see a boost in your self esteem!

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2. Stop caring what other people think

Sadly, we live in a world where the majority of what we do is not only judged by others but highly criticized by others; leading us to make decisions based upon what other people want and not necessarily what we want for ourselves. This is incredibly limiting your power and your freedom and you need to step out of this or you will continue being stuck. I want you to truly think about why you care so much about what other people think because at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is your happiness and your health.

3. Stop talking negatively about yourself to other people

Just like I mentioned above, the same thing rings true here. Whether you are saying it in your head or aloud, your brain recognizes it just the same. But once you put it out into the world into other people’s hands, you are putting those words into their power. We are inclined to constantly compare ourselves to other people especially within the digital era and social media. We need to come back down to Earth and realize that our chapter 2 isn’t going to be the same as someone elses chapter 10 and that we can be as successful as anyone else if we put in the dedication and hard work. We all just need to stop focusing on everyone else and focus on ourselves.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Theodore Roosevelt

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4. Stop judging others

In order to stop judging yourself, you must stop judging others. One goes with the other, as it is like a domino effect. Why do you care so much about what others are thinking, doing, wearing, etc.? Odds are if you are judging someone by how they look or dress, you have issues with your body and how you dress. Let others express themselves the way they want as long as they aren’t doing any harm. What effect does it have on your life? Honestly? Does it really matter in retrospect? Really try to figure out where your judgements are coming from to get to the root to start figuring out how you can fix the cause of these thoughts and work on ways to stop judging yourself.

5. Accept what is happening

Life isn’t easy. I’ve been there, through hell and back multiple times. During the ups, relish in the gratitude and find what brings you joy and pursue that to its fullest. Make sure you are taking care of yourself first and foremost. During the downs, it is important to not judge yourself. Be sad, be upset, be angry. Get your emotions out. But don’t hate yourself, don’t be mean to yourself or your body. That’s when your mind, body, and soul need you the most. So, find ways to nourish them in a way that is fitting during that time.

No one is perfect, perfect doesn’t exist. But you need to own your story, you need to own your unique identity and be okay with the ups and downs of life. Just because you are having a hard day doesn’t make you inadequate. Just because you don’t understand a question doesn’t make you stupid. Just because you can’t fit into a certain pair of jeans does not make you fat. Just because you are dealing with a chronic illness does not make you irrelevant to society. It just means that you don’t fit into the perfect one size fits all approach that society has been grilling into our heads for generations. It means that you have a chance to overcome something and from that will come knowledge, from knowledge a lesson, from said lesson gratitude, and from gratitude peace.

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Leave a comment below and let me know what ways you can practice more self-love this month!

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How To Look Fresh Faced Without Makeup

Many of us rely on make-up to feel beautiful. In fact, some of us can’t even leave the house without slapping some foundation and eye shadow on. Going make-up free now and again can be healthy for our skin. It can also free up time in the morning spent doing your make-up, while also saving you money spent on cosmetics. More importantly, it can help you build your self-confidence and make you feel more comfortable in your own skin!

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Here are just several ways to rock a more natural look:

Get your beauty sleep

A full sleep cycle is essential for flushing the toxins out of our bodies. If you complete this cycle and wake up early without enough sleep, your skin will appear paler and puffier. Stress may also increase the likeliness of spots and rashes. Try to aim for seven to nine hours of sleep per night to counter this. Your skin will look fresher and rosier and you’ll be less likely to get spots. Try staying away from screens before bed and get into a nighttime routine.

Stay hydrated

Drinking lots of water is also good for your skin by keeping it moisturized. It helps blood flow, allowing nutrients to more easily reach the surface of your skin. This will give your face a more natural glow and can improve wrinkles, elasticity, and all-around appearance.

Up your skincare routine

A skincare routine can help to prevent spots and wrinkles. This could include washing your face, exfoliating it, moisturizing and possibly using other serums. Washing will help to clean out pores while exfoliating gets rid of dead skin cells. Moisturizer helps provide oils into the skin needed for keeping it supple. As for skin serums, these come in all forms and are usually used to help treat spots and wrinkles directly. Check out our recent post - Easy Skincare Without The Routine for more tips!

Consider your hairstyle

A clean and tidy hairstyle will help to emphasize your beauty. Consider seeing a hairstylist and see what they recommend. There are many low maintenance styles that can allow you to stay looking fresh-faced and beautiful without having to put lots of different products in your hair (if you’re taking a break from using cosmetics on your face, you may as well take a break from using them in your hair). My personal favorite is a sleek topknot. It not only looks put together but gives your face a little lift by pulling all your hair up and back.

Work on your smile

A smile is more warming and more attractive than any amount of make-up. Think positive thoughts when going make-up free so that you’re encouraged to smile more often. Some people can get embarrassed about their smile – most often because they don’t like their teeth. If this is the case, consider ways of improving your teeth such as straightening them or looking into whitening methods. If you’re more embarrassed about the way you smile, you can always try practicing in a mirror or your selfie camera (many people have an angle that they prefer).

Work on your self-confidence

At the core of it all, it’s all about how beautiful you feel on the inside and my dear you are. By working on your self-confidence, you’ll grow to not care what people think of you without makeup and you’ll learn more and more to do what makes YOU feel beautiful not what society or someone else makes you feel like you need to do to make you feel beautiful. We are all our own worst critics but at the end of the day, it is all about loving ourselves and the bodies we are in!

Enhance Your Self-Esteem in 3 Simple Steps

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Share in the comments below how you look fresh face without makeup!

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