10 Simple Steps to Develop Self-Love

We spend so much time working on our relationships, body, career, social life, and other priorities. Caught up in the act of juggling all this, we overlook the importance of doing work on the inside.  Well, you are nothing short of a one-of-a-kind unprecedented individual. So, you might as well reignite the inner love for yourself and cherish what makes you unique. If you cannot come to love yourself, you will not be able to project the warmth of love onto the world and soak it back in when others send it your way.

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Forge a mindset

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It all starts with the shift in a mindset and your self-perception. These two aspects have a lot to do with how others define us through titles, roles, labels, relationship statuses, net worth, achievements, etc. Alas, even when combined, they are utterly inaccurate and incomplete accounts of who you are. Your true identity stems from something deeper and more eternal than the changing life circumstances.

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Embrace your quirks and things that make you unique. Society is an extremely poor judge of individual qualities and character, as it tries to standardize and generalize. Therefore, instead of trying so hard to meet other people’s expectations, uncover your true nature and do not be afraid to be authentic. Let your freak flag fly— it is one of the most empowering and liberating things you can do.

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Practice self-care

Furthermore, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep whenever possible to revitalize your mind and body. Engage in regular physical activity, be it a yoga class, cycling to work, gym or running sessions. Start eating healthier— put together a nutrient-packed, balanced diet and stay hydrated. Leave some time in the schedule for pure pastime relaxation.

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Do what you love

Speaking of which, you need to start doing what you love in order to reestablish inner calm and peace.  Take a break and reconnect with your innate drives and passions. Find time for the hobby you have been putting away for a long time. You will be able to melt away the stress and then tackle various life challenges with new winds in your sails.

Write it down

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Many people have discovered the therapeutic and other benefits of putting the thought into writing. Did you also know that writing every day is associated with success in life? You might think that social media statuses already fit the bill, but why not write without thinking about how others will react to it. In other words, you might want to start keeping a personal diary.  Pour your soul onto its pages.

Listen to yourself

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Learn to carefully listen to your inner voice. Nobody is more qualified to decide what is good for you in terms of long-term happiness and fulfillment. If that voice is full of resentment, anxiety, fear, and other negative emotions, you need to stop being so harsh on yourself. We are all vulnerable and insecure, but think about your qualities and celebrate the best moments life has in store.

Manage emotions better

Emotional stability is a fickle thing. Sooner or later, we are thrown off balance wrestling with anger and pain. You should never beat yourself up for it. Trying to suffocate your feelings never really works and brings only temporary relief in the best case scenario. Often, it is better to hoist a white flag and cling to it. Examine where do you feel the pain in your body— it can be a really telling sign.

Take care of your looks

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Although appearances do not make a human, they can certainly help one increase self-worth and satisfaction. Feel free to buy new clothes, self-care products, and look at yourself in the mirror. Rest assured that there is no such thing as being perfect and we should abandon that futile pursuit. Accept your flaws as an integral part of who you are and boost your self-confidence.

Treat yourself

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Material things cannot buy happiness and love, but they are stepping stones to it. Namely, it is perfectly fine to pamper yourself a bit. Treat yourself to a delicious meal or take a weekend off. You also do not have to wait for others to buy you something nice. Shop around for adorable and unique gifts, trigger feel-good hormones in the brain, and put a smile back on your face.

Set boundaries

Saying that simple word “no” often comes hard for people, yet is crucial for cultivating self-love. Draw some lines between what you love and enjoy and things that only deplete your energy and willpower. It can be anything from extra work obligations to activities that strain you mentally, etc. Take the pressure off yourself and pivot to things that fill you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Fostering a positive change

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Self-love is not a state of feeling good that comes and goes. It must be actively nurtured and built. So, mute the noise of the outside world and change the negative mental tape. Enrich your relationship with yourself and build healthy everyday habits. Shift your focus to positive attributes and look at the bright side of life. All the small changes add up and spill over from one area of your life to another. It is time to make yourself feel whole and worthy again.

- Gust post by Stella Van Lan -

Stella van Lane is a passionate writer in love with coffee, chocolate, music, books, and good vibes. Her top interests are health, yoga, meditation, and interior design.

Leave a comment below telling us at least one step you can take to further develop self-love!

Five Ways To Stop Judging Yourself + FREE Journaling Prompts

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” - Brené Brown

1. Be kinder to yourself instead of beating yourself up

From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, how many times do you speak badly to yourself? You may not realize how much you speak down to yourself subconsciously (i.e. I’m so ugly, I look so fat, I’m so stupid, I’m such an idiot, etc.). We are constantly being our own worst enemy and we need to start switching our mindset around to being our own best friend because we all deserve that. Keep track of how often you are saying these self-defeating thoughts and replace them with kinder affirmations you can tell yourself to not only stop judging yourself but see a boost in your self esteem!

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2. Stop caring what other people think

Sadly, we live in a world where the majority of what we do is not only judged by others but highly criticized by others; leading us to make decisions based upon what other people want and not necessarily what we want for ourselves. This is incredibly limiting your power and your freedom and you need to step out of this or you will continue being stuck. I want you to truly think about why you care so much about what other people think because at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is your happiness and your health.

3. Stop talking negatively about yourself to other people

Just like I mentioned above, the same thing rings true here. Whether you are saying it in your head or aloud, your brain recognizes it just the same. But once you put it out into the world into other people’s hands, you are putting those words into their power. We are inclined to constantly compare ourselves to other people especially within the digital era and social media. We need to come back down to Earth and realize that our chapter 2 isn’t going to be the same as someone elses chapter 10 and that we can be as successful as anyone else if we put in the dedication and hard work. We all just need to stop focusing on everyone else and focus on ourselves.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Theodore Roosevelt

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4. Stop judging others

In order to stop judging yourself, you must stop judging others. One goes with the other, as it is like a domino effect. Why do you care so much about what others are thinking, doing, wearing, etc.? Odds are if you are judging someone by how they look or dress, you have issues with your body and how you dress. Let others express themselves the way they want as long as they aren’t doing any harm. What effect does it have on your life? Honestly? Does it really matter in retrospect? Really try to figure out where your judgements are coming from to get to the root to start figuring out how you can fix the cause of these thoughts and work on ways to stop judging yourself.

5. Accept what is happening

Life isn’t easy. I’ve been there, through hell and back multiple times. During the ups, relish in the gratitude and find what brings you joy and pursue that to its fullest. Make sure you are taking care of yourself first and foremost. During the downs, it is important to not judge yourself. Be sad, be upset, be angry. Get your emotions out. But don’t hate yourself, don’t be mean to yourself or your body. That’s when your mind, body, and soul need you the most. So, find ways to nourish them in a way that is fitting during that time.

No one is perfect, perfect doesn’t exist. But you need to own your story, you need to own your unique identity and be okay with the ups and downs of life. Just because you are having a hard day doesn’t make you inadequate. Just because you don’t understand a question doesn’t make you stupid. Just because you can’t fit into a certain pair of jeans does not make you fat. Just because you are dealing with a chronic illness does not make you irrelevant to society. It just means that you don’t fit into the perfect one size fits all approach that society has been grilling into our heads for generations. It means that you have a chance to overcome something and from that will come knowledge, from knowledge a lesson, from said lesson gratitude, and from gratitude peace.

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Leave a comment below and let me know what ways you can practice more self-love this month!

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4 Ways To Include Self Care Into Your Busy Lifestyle

It seems like everyone is busy rushing around these days and not taking a breather to take proper care of themselves.

One moment you're dashing out of bed to get the ready for the morning, and the next you're on the commute to work, trying desperately to remember the legion of tasks you have to complete during your time at work and beyond.

You might have a busy social life too, with friends and family members to catch up with on a fairly regular basis. And you might busy yourself with other things during the week, be that your household chores, your garden maintenance, and any hobbies or group meetings that you regularly partake in.

And while there is nothing wrong with a busy lifestyle per se, you do need to be mindful. If you rarely stop and catch your breath (figuratively and literally), you will start to feel the consequences of a busy lifestyle within your health. Feelings of stress and anxiety might become a norm, and you might fall prey to the ensuing side-effects, such as high blood pressure, exhaustion, and depression. 

So, finding ways to include self-care into your busy lifestyle is a must.

These suggestions might be useful to you.

#1: Make time for yourself in the morning

Establish a morning regimen before your busy day begins.

Take the time to eat a healthy breakfast, because this is infinitely better than grabbing a cookie from the jar when you're rushing out of your front door.

You should then take some time out to exercise, be that with a walk or a run around the block, or even by exercising in your living room by doing some yoga or stretching. These home exercise ideas might prove useful. 

Then spend some time in thought and reflection in your meditation space. This will give you time to find some semblance of inner peace and will provide your body and mind with the much-needed rest required before your day's activities begin.

By taking these steps, you will start the day the right way. Rather than feeling rushed and stressed, you should feel calmer and better prepared for whatever it is you will be busying yourself with throughout the day.

#2: Schedule time for yourself

No matter what else you have going on during the week, find places on your calendar for me-time, and put a large red ring around the times you have chosen. 

And if you can't find time for yourself? Maybe you simply have too much going on? 

Then remember that your health matters first and foremost. There are bound to be things within your schedule that hold less priority in your life, so ask yourself: 

Do I really need to attend every meeting I have scheduled? 

Do I need to attend every social engagement that I have been invited to? 

The answer is probably 'no,' so if you need to cross things off your calendar in favour of me-time, then do so. Then be sure to say 'no' to any other activity that might distract you from your personal needs, unless there is a significant reason as to why you might need to move your me-time to another date.

And if you have a family to consider? Set boundaries for yourself if they are in the same house as you, and let them know that you need some time to yourself. Or take time out for yourself when they are involved in after-school activities or otherwise engaged. You might bring in an extended family member to look after them occasionally too. 

And when you do have time for yourself, don't busy yourself with housework or with any other types of strenuous activity. Instead, catch up with your Netflix boxsets, pamper yourself at your beauty table, go for a gentle walk, read a book, or do anything else that will give you time to refresh yourself. You will feel better by doing so.

#3: Book your health appointments

When did you last see your doctor? And when did you last see your optician and dentist? You need to make these appointments a priority if your health is suffering in any way, but even if you are feeling fine, you should still see your local health professionals for a check-up. If anything is wrong, they should be able to remedy any health issues you are experiencing.

So, despite your busyness, make the time for these appointments. Arrange for them before or after work, or let your employer know that you might need to take some time out of the workplace. 

Of course, if your employer provides occupational healthcare services, you should take advantage of what is on offer. Your boss should encourage you to anyway, but there is nothing wrong with booking an appointment yourself on a fairly regular basis or when you feel it necessary. 

#4: Live a healthy lifestyle throughout the day

You can still live a healthy lifestyle despite your busy day, so take the necessary steps to care for your wellbeing.

So, rather than driving or taking the bus to work, you might walk or cycle instead in your lifestyle ensues.

Rather than eating on the go when you're busy at work, take time out to rest, opting for a healthy lunch rather than something from the local fast food joint.

Find other opportunities to exercise throughout the day, perhaps by going for a short walk during your break times and/or taking part in exercises at your desk. You might also visit the gym before you go home or book yourself into a dance or fitness class.

And during the evening, resist the urge to do too much with your time. By adhering to one of our previous points, you might have scheduled time for yourself already. But even if you do have family and friends to consider, try to find relaxing things to do with them, instead of busying yourself with activities that could tire you out. 

Finally, remember to go to bed at a reasonable time. A good night's sleep has many health benefits, on both a physical and a mental level, so get your shut-eye, as you will then be able to return to the first point on this list when you wake in the morning.

Take care of yourself and remember you come first! Leave a comment below and let us know how you can implement one thing to help improve your self care no matter how small!

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